Interviews and Testimonies
AN INTERVIEW
The following is a recent interview between Family Partnership and a "mentee" -- Frank H. was one of the first to come forward to be matched with a mentor. He has now been with his mentor - Jim R. for more than three years. Jim's wife also provides some support for Frank's wife. We recently caught up with Frank - he's currently driving a truck so is away from home quite a bit right now - to ask him for his reflections on his involvement in the program.
Frank: I thought I'd give it a try. I wasn't really nervous - more anxious to see what would come of it. I wondered how it would help, having a mentor. FP: What were the reasons you wanted to try a mentor? Frank: To see how it might guide my family a little more. FP: How do you and Jim connect? Frank: With regular phone calls and some face-to-face contact when we are able. FP (note): Frank identified several goals on his initial application, including the desire to formalize the blending of his family - he and his wife have three daughters between them from previous relationships. They wanted to adopt so they would all be one legal family, but listed financial barriers as keeping them from doing this. They had also just completed a first-time homeowners program for low-income families and just as they were moving into their house, Frank faced a traditional seasonal lay-off from his then job (cement laying.) Typically, he had not found steady re-employment during this time. With some connections and encouragement from his mentor, he found work this time in very short order - in the automotive field - and further, decided to enroll in school to gain his Masters Mechanics certification to increase his earning potential. FP: How has having Jim's support in your life helped? Frank: It has helped me to be able to have someone with his background to be able to bounce ideas off of, learn business steps you can take, research different avenues, to go or find information and resources. With school, he was the one to encourage me to check into it. FP: Has he helped you get to your goals? Do you think your life is better due to Jim being a support? Frank: Yes. FP: What goals have you accomplished? Frank: Adopted daughters officially (Jim and his wife joined Frank and his family for the adoption ceremony); finished school - will get my Masters Mechanics Certification. FP: Anything else you'd like to share with someone thinking about considering a Family Partnership mentor? Frank: Just the openness and willingness to help and the support. And [he is] really non-judgmental. That they are not pushy; they like to help, however they can. He might listen to something and say that might not be the best way, but non-judgmental. Give me other ideas to think about. FP (note): Due to the economic slow-down, Frank's job with an auto repair shop was cut back in hours - so, Frank immediately took what he has learned from Jim about networking and contacted a friend with a truck driving business and is employed doing that right now. He is also in the process of starting up his own business - landscaping in the summer and plowing in the winter, again, using skills he has gained from his mentor. He has already made some smart business decisions with regard to partnerships and contracting out some of his work so that business can grow while he is doing what he needs to do, to meet bills. Frank, also, with encouragement, support, and resource connections from Jim, had a long-time dental isue addressed and it has given him increased confidence in his appearance that he needs as a business owner and job seeker. |
A SUCCESS STORY  This is about a lady named JoAnne. JoAnne was referred to Family Partnership by Love In the name of Christ, about a year and a half ago. She was looking for a mentor to help her get her house and her life in order. She had a “collecting” problem – well ok, she was a bit of a hoarder. However, she had also received goods – including furniture and clothing, from her parents’ household on their deaths, and her daughter had left a few things behind when she moved out of state. It had all compiled to bring JoAnne to a state of desperation. Her house was a mess of unsorted piles with small pathways to and from one room to another. She lived on a small income from disability but felt she might be able to work part-time to increase her income – if she could reliably find something to wear. She was lonely. She didn’t like people visiting her because of the state of her house and self. She was in a cycle of spending that her income couldn’t support. Partly because she often couldn’t find something she had bought when it had become buried under something else. She ate out too often because of the state of her kitchen. She was behind on her bills, and afraid she would lose her house. She had thoughts of having a roommate to help improve her finances, if she could make the house livable for someone else. Or maybe she should sell and move to be closer to her daughter: another reason to get her house in order. As I said, she came to us feeling desperate, paralyzed and yearning for someone to help her get out of her rut. After visiting her and evaluating her situation, the family support and selection team felt she was sincerely motivated and would be a good candidate to be matched with a mentor. We had two available at the time, both of whom had already mentored. She was introduced and matched with one of the two. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, through no fault of either lady, the initial match just didn’t quite gel. Although both mentor and partner gave it many months try, a decision was finally made to end the match. After discussing the issues with both parties, the director felt JoAnne was still motivated enough and following through on enough things to warrant being rematched, at least temporarily. A mentor was found who had previously worked with people for short-term while a longer term mentor was sought. This mentor luckily had a professional mental health background. While mentors do not and should not function as social workers, her experience in dealing with people with many issues, as well as her particular style, and JoAnne’s mindset, made it a match that worked right off the bat this time. Now JoAnne had made some progress prior to this both on her own and with the previous mentor. Now she was in emotionally in an even better place herself to make progress and with the second mentor’s help – and a helper put in place by social security - managed to sort through enough things to hold a yard sale, a long –time goal of hers. According to the mentor, she made over $300 despite being off the beaten path. She had enough things to have a second one later that summer and apparently made another $100 or so. With the money she paid off some debts. Her daughter was able to find further financial help for her mother, that allowed paying off most of her remaining debts and catching up on her house payment, which was in danger of foreclosure if she had gone even one more month in arrears. One of the stipulations Family Partnership had, when we ended the match with the first mentor, was that JoAnne meet with one of our financial Specialty mentors which she agreed to and followed through with (the reason we felt a rematch was a good choice) and also see a counselor to address her “hoarding” issues. She has since met regularly (about monthly) with Jim Compere, who has offered financial mentoring through Family partnership since early on. At one point, Jim also brought in FP mentor Sue Hornby for a consultation, who had been working with her mentee long term on similar issues. Together, they were able to help JoAnne, get a handle on her income, her spending, and begin to suggest to her some ways she could trim the spending – such as using her aide to help her organize and cook meals at home to bring down her food bill. They talked about her going to the food banks to supplement her food stamps and make use of community dinners. It was talked about that perhaps this would be a good role for a long term mentor to help her. Although a personable and friendly person, JoAnne is also somewhat shy. It was discussed that perhaps a mentor might help her with follow through by going with her to a food bank. Recently, Jim reported that, in this respect, he was “graduating” JoAnne although he would call her in a few months to see how she was doing. She improved her debt situation even more since the summer – finishing paying her credit cards, caught up on all but one minor bill and indeed following through with some of the suggested changes. She had cleared so much space that Family partnership was able to find qualified volunteers from the construction ministry to visit her home and check a potentially leaky bathtub that worried her. The two men were able to reassure her that her bathtub was not leaking. Further, they were able to get the hot water to her bathroom sink, which had been turned off for many years for some reason, turned back on and fix her storm doors to cut her heating bills this winter. They also put up light fixtures to make the place safer to navigate. We at Family Partnership are so proud of JoAnne! We know as much as she wanted it, the initial attempts at change we pretty overwhelming – possibly one reason the first partnership just didn’t last? But little by little, with support and encouragement and self-determination, she has made progress toward her goals. Now that she has her house more in order she has set a new goal of perhaps trying to go some volunteering as a first step toward getting out more and testing her endurance before seeing if part-time work (which would improve her financial situation) might be an option. There is no doubt that winter will challenge JoAnne, as it does all of us at times, perhaps bringing some depression, and apathy and unexpected expenses. Her summer mentor had to depart but plans to touch base with JoAnne when she returns. In the meantime, she gave us the chance to support JoAnne while we looked for a long term mentor. We have found one – someone who has had specific experience working with people with hoarding issues. JoAnne is also seeing a counselor occasionally in line with her finances to continue to gain insight on this tendency. We hope you will join us in praising the efforts JoAnne has made and that her story will inspire you to continue with whatever challenges you face. |
